My Journal

May 18, 2017

I woke up from a dream, again seeing the dancing spots of light for a while on the ceilings and walls once I opened my eyes from sleep and the dream. 

In the dream I was repeatedly having the experience of before death, moments of dying, and what happens upon dying. I also was observing other people’s experience of the same thing. 

I was aware that i am experiencing and observing the experience of passing.

Once I woke up, I was still clearly remembering that I was seeing that experience of death.

In the dream, the moments before deaths (I experienced a few different ones and also observed many of those of other people’s) varied depending on the circumstances (saw a few violent ones like death blow from a heavy punch of someone).

But the moment of transition all feel the same no matter the circumstances: it’s a quick empty stomach a bit scary at first feeling. like jumping off a high platform. 

But there is no pain. Also quickly you realize you are lighter and flying which is a cool freeing feeling.

Though at first it feels like the flying is not in your control, you’re just soaring forward and up. 

But after a while you realize you are now in control. 

Moving about is different than flying in the physical world. It’s much more seamless because it’s like there’s no or much less friction in the air. 

In fact, it feels more like the consciousness just transporting itself from place to place and time to time, rather than actually moving a body about.

Once dead and flying, I saw many times we immediately attract those we’re very connected with, strong bonds of deep love, or equally of deep tension and contention. If they’re not dead yet, you’re waiting with great awareness for the moment they make the transition, and you never miss that moment.

Though it’s not like in this world where waiting for something may feel nervous and you may feel impatient. 

Actually it doesn’t feel like you have to impatiently wait for that moment either. Time is not much of a reality there. It feels like you are able to just fast forward your experience to the moment you are united with whom you want to see.

You are just a pure distant observer of things. There doesn’t seem to be any (or much) emotional involvement or attachment to any thing. But there is immense awareness of everything.

You can replay how you died or someone else you knew died any time you want.

There’s a sense that you continue your life journey there: it doesn’t feel like you’re just floating around passively watching things with no aim. Rather, it’s a fast moving life: you quickly find and team up with those you are deeply connected with and go about moving forward with your life and what you want to accomplish, though I don’t remember what that is…

I succinctly remember that it feels like a zoo, crowded like crazy, because you are among and can see both many who are also in their astral body (dead from our perspective) and those who are still in their physical (living). It’s not like we are in a different place. It’s all superimposed together, but those who have transitioned can see both those who have and have not yet transitioned.

Sometimes it takes a while to recognize the astral body of someone you knew in the physical body, because the appearance is somehow different. But when you focus on them you start to recognize their energy behind their appearance, and you remember them, because their energy quality is unchanged.

People also just continue to be who they used to be and do what they used to (in an abstract sense, like going against someone) and have the ambitions and energy that they had in physical life. The inner realities of the person is pretty much in tact, whether good or bad qualities.

It’s interesting that it feels very much, like in this life, that you are just having an experience, where you recognize you are separate than the experience… your essential reality isn’t in that experience. 

What’s different is that your awareness level is greatly increased. And you are freer, as the shell of the body (and somewhat the thinking mind and wanting heart) is removed.

May 2, 2017

Last night I had a dream that I had just died.

I wasn’t consciously thinking I had died, but when I woke up it was immediately clear it was the time proceeding my recent passing.

I was with my parents and some relatives attending some gathering, but I had gone missing. On our leaving, I had been distracted seeing some relatives who we hadn’t seen for a long time, and lost my folks and way on the way out of the building.

They had started the process of looking for me, following my traces. Sometimes they would find some traces, talk or argue with one another about the process.

But I was with them all the time, so close, following them around.

It’s just that they couldn’t see me.

I wasn’t speaking, but I was fully aware of everything.

There was no sadness or concern, I was just following and observing what they were doing.

I wasn’t happy either, not much of feeling.

As I was moving around I soon realized I could lift off from the ground. I thought it was cool. But I didn’t need to fly, because seemingly I was instantly transferring myself from scene to scene, place to place.

There were plenty of animals and humans who were seeing me though, just not my own parents and relatives.

There was a cat who saw me lift off from the ground, but wasn’t at all surprised.

I had a feeling of distance, lightness, and peace the whole time.

I think there was a slow, inspirational background music that I was hearing all the while.
I woke up from this, and quickly realized I was dreaming of my time after death.

There were dancing lights on my bedroom wall, the kind that might be a reflection from a monitor showing something. I looked around to make sure my laptop wasn’t open or on but it wasn’t.

The lights disappeared after a while.

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