To Tell You That I Love You

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I’ve always had a feeling
that my stay on earth
in this life
will not be long…

I want to tell you to forgive me.

To forgive me,
for the times
I’ve spent with you,
with an absent mind,
not fully engrossed
in your radiant existence,
here and now.

I want to tell you that I love you.

Not because you loved me,
or let me love you.
Not because you kissed me,
or allowed me to kiss you,
whether you remember it or not.

Not because you gave me gifts,
or cooked for me,
or stayed by my bedside in the hospital,
or walked me to the bathroom,
or cried heroically in my defense,
whether you remember it or not.

Not because you held my hand,
when I had fallen.
or when you befriended me,
when I was bullied by others,
or because you bullied me,
teaching me of my strength within.

Not because you mocked me,
in front of others,
whether you remember it or not,
to train me to stand for myself,
and relate to and lift other souls,
when they face trials of their own.

Not because you showed me
the ways of sweetness,
of love,
of kindness,
of piety,
of self-discipline,
of friendship,
or friendliness…

I love you,
because of the unchanging flame of God,
which you carry within you,
whether you remember it or not.

Yes, Gurudeva said:

“Always have I loved Thee!
Ever shall I love Thee!
Thee Alone.
Thee Alone.”

December 3, 2016

 

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